Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Life and Divorce
Two years I've been away. I guess my busy life has gotten in the way of my blog posting. OK yes, I am still married and I still have a great family. The past two years have been so busy. Our family has experienced many ups and downs just like other families. The many emotions of life can pick us up or pull us down. We as individuals choose how to deal with the trials we experience. I am choosing to deal with each trial head on.
Let's talk divorce.... I am not speaking in specifics about anyone or any particular experience, but want to share my views on the subject. This subject is always on my mind. Not because I want to have one in my life but because I have seen the heartache and destruction of the family first hand. The first question is, why choose such a destructive path? Why ruin the family unit for your own selfish wants and needs? Did you think about the path of heartache you left behind when you made that decision? Did you think about how many innocent lives you have destroyed or impacted because you were not happy.... NOT HAPPY? BLAH BLAH BLAH. Get over it!!!!
First: When I met my husband, I was 16 years old and a senior in high school. I was very mature for my age, or so I thought at the time. The point being, we discussed openly about marriage and the long term decisions that we would make together for the sake of our family. We discussed how we would raise our children and how we would communicate with one another during the tough times. We made the decision then and there that we were never going to speak of divorce, EVER! It just wasn't an option. We discussed that life was already hard enough without the impact of a divorced family. We both came from parents who were married for a long time. At the time, his parents for over 40 years and mine for 25 years. Both having had their struggles from time to time.
Second: Marriage is hard work! It takes lots of elbow grease to make sure it runs smoothly and get through each and every day. You have to be committed to the process and not ever think there's an option other than just following through on your commitment. There is joy, anger, sorrow, frustration, sadness and illness. There's wealth and poverty and most of all there is LOVE. Love is something that doesn't happen over night. its a process that takes time to blossom and grow. Love takes effort and patience and again commitment. It is certainly not like in the movies as portrayed. Yeah, we've had our share of problems! So far, we have overcome all obstacles because we made the commitment to work at our marriage to the end.
Third: If you take care of your relationship between you and your spouse, then you'll be able to fully take care of the emotional needs of your family. You need to put effort into your relationship, as it doesn't just happen. You need to water it, nourish it, and fertilize it. How do you do this? Well, first, you need to remember that your spouse needs love, affection, intimacy, cooperation, patience, understanding. Not just sometimes, but every day. These are important needs of humans. The one rule we have always tried to emulate is: Always try to think of how you can make your partners life better, one step at a time. Try for one week the following: Think of things you can do to serve your partner, like making the bed for them, or making their favorite meal, picking up their clothes at the cleaners, leaving a love note with a sweet treat, doing nice things for your partner. Little things go a long way in showing how much you love and appreciate them. In return, your partner (I guarantee it!) will reciprocate the gestures. After time, doing for your partner will become part of your everyday life. Each of you will feel the unselfish acts of kindness and service toward one another. It's such a simple act of love that we have practiced this rule throughout our 35 years of marriage and it has been the most successful tool we have ever used.
Fourth: Communicate. What more can I say about this? Keep your lines of communication open and talk about everything. Never shut down the lines of communication. Your partner deserves to share their hopes and dreams and their fears and concerns without the fear of criticism. Talk openly about everything good and bad in the relationship.
There's more, but this is a good start on sharing our success!
A wise man once said: "Every Divorce is the result of selfishness on the part of one or the other or both parties to a marriage contract. Someone is thinking of self-comforts, conveniences, freedoms, luxuries, or ease."
May God Bless You and Yours
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Middle Aged
I'm back!
Whew... It's been a very long time since I have written any post to my blog. Life has been pretty busy over the past year. I promise to be better at my posts in the future.
I am staying pretty busy in my life wtih all the challenges that go along with middle age. Yeah, I turned 50 last year and now I am 51. I kept putting of the dreaded colonscopy that we all need to get as a preventative measure in our life. Yes, two weeks ago I did the deed!! Without giving the dirty details, I did it, I did it, I did it, and I will never do this again! I think dying is a better option!! I was so sick. You see, I am really bad with medications and with anything I am required to drink. It all gags me and I am allergic to most all anesthesia and medications. My doctor tells me that I would be a really bad drug user cause I get so sick. The most pain medication that I can take is a 50mg of tramadol without side effects. Thank goodness that mammograms doesn't require any prep!
It all turned out ok and I don't need to go in for quite a few years. YAHOO
Having said that.
GO GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM, YOUR PSA TEST, YOUR PAP SMEAR AND YOUR COLONOSCOPY.
It can save your life.
I am glad I did.
Whew... It's been a very long time since I have written any post to my blog. Life has been pretty busy over the past year. I promise to be better at my posts in the future.
I am staying pretty busy in my life wtih all the challenges that go along with middle age. Yeah, I turned 50 last year and now I am 51. I kept putting of the dreaded colonscopy that we all need to get as a preventative measure in our life. Yes, two weeks ago I did the deed!! Without giving the dirty details, I did it, I did it, I did it, and I will never do this again! I think dying is a better option!! I was so sick. You see, I am really bad with medications and with anything I am required to drink. It all gags me and I am allergic to most all anesthesia and medications. My doctor tells me that I would be a really bad drug user cause I get so sick. The most pain medication that I can take is a 50mg of tramadol without side effects. Thank goodness that mammograms doesn't require any prep!
It all turned out ok and I don't need to go in for quite a few years. YAHOO
Having said that.
GO GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM, YOUR PSA TEST, YOUR PAP SMEAR AND YOUR COLONOSCOPY.
It can save your life.
I am glad I did.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Life is moving so fast
I have been contemplating my childhood recently.
My 31 year old so recently said to me; "I know you're turning 50, but is seems that as you're getting older, I'm getting closer. 32 (which is coming soon for him) seems much closer to 50 than 12 did to 32".
It seems like life is moving so fast and I can't seem to get a handle on the time. It seems like yesterday when I was in high school hanging with my friends, working on the school plays with the drama club. Life was so simple back then. I remember worrying about the dumbest things that seemed so important back then. Like, the boys and why didn't they ask me out, the best ways to crease my jeans, how to wear my hair the next day, why that friend was acting so rude, and why were my parents were always in my face. Oh what trivial things I had to worry about.
My kids are all grown up now and they are beginning to realize how important time really is. Time is the one thing in life we can never ever get back, as its seems to flee with every turn.
So, what I would like to express to everyone out there is to take time in your life to enjoy your family and loved ones. Don't stress over things that you have no control over. Don't forget to tell those who are important to you, that they are important to you.
Slow down your life and ENJOY!
My 31 year old so recently said to me; "I know you're turning 50, but is seems that as you're getting older, I'm getting closer. 32 (which is coming soon for him) seems much closer to 50 than 12 did to 32".
It seems like life is moving so fast and I can't seem to get a handle on the time. It seems like yesterday when I was in high school hanging with my friends, working on the school plays with the drama club. Life was so simple back then. I remember worrying about the dumbest things that seemed so important back then. Like, the boys and why didn't they ask me out, the best ways to crease my jeans, how to wear my hair the next day, why that friend was acting so rude, and why were my parents were always in my face. Oh what trivial things I had to worry about.
My kids are all grown up now and they are beginning to realize how important time really is. Time is the one thing in life we can never ever get back, as its seems to flee with every turn.
So, what I would like to express to everyone out there is to take time in your life to enjoy your family and loved ones. Don't stress over things that you have no control over. Don't forget to tell those who are important to you, that they are important to you.
Slow down your life and ENJOY!
Monday, July 11, 2011
Scary Night
The Story:
My husband left for work at 4 am to drive to Elko Nevada where there were problems with one of his commuter trains. The train was stuck out in the middle of nowhere and there were passengers on the train that needed immediate assistance. My husband, being the on call, drove from our home to somehwere in the desert by Elko Nevada. He tried to drive through the desert to get to the diabled train with not much luck. So, he walked in over 2 miles in and out and through the muddy terrain. It had been snowing that spring day and so the ground was thick with mud which made every step more difficult. He made it in to the disabled train and took care of the crew and the passengers. He then had to trek back out on foot another 2 miles until he reached his 4 wheel drive. After he got to his truck, he became stuck in that thick mud. He was trying to push his vehicle out and a farmer came by and pointed a shot gun at him and accused him of letting his animals out of the gate. After much explanation and discussion, the farmer finally relented and then offered to help him get his vehicle out of the mud. He then went on his way. Around eight PM that night he called me and notified me that he was on his way home and had just stopped somewhere near Wendover to get a bite to eat. I knew that he would arrive in about 2 hours. I have driven that road before and knew the distance well. Around 9:30 in the evening, the phone rang, I thought it was my husband calling to say he was almost home. I knew he had had a hard hard day and would be exhausted. But, it was not my husband, it was a paramedic. Oh the thoughts that ran through my mind in that split second before she told me what was going on. She identified herself and explained in a very calm voice that my husband had had a heart attack and had pulled off the road trying to make it into town. She told me where the ambulance was taking him and that they would be expecting me. Every thought ran through my mind at that exact moment in time. I thought about how I would have to call all of my boys and tell them about their dad. I just couldn't comprehend living without him. We had been married for over 32 years. What would my grandchildren do without their grandpa? I composed myself and called my youngest son who still lives with us and told him to come home now! I explained the situation to him and he was home in less than 5 minutes. I tried to stay calm as we drove from our home more than twenty minutes away to the hospital where he was taken. It seemed like forever, almost like we were in slow motion and everything was moving so much slower than normal. I did not run one light or stop sign and did not even break the speed limit which was driving my son crazy as he had asked me several times if he could drive. He's a speed demon!!! I declined as I had to be in control. We were almost to the hospital and a nurse called and said that my husband was taken to CT for scans and indicated that he would not be in the ER, so not to worry. We arrived five minutes later and he was back from CT. As we walked in to the ER, there were strips of EKG tabs all over the floor along with empty packages many items they had used on my husband. He had the heart monitors attached to his chest and the IV's in his arm and was bare chested, as they had cut his shirt off of him in the ambulance. He was laying in the bed with his feet hanging off the end covered in mud. He still had his boots on. My husband proceeded to explain what was going on with him and how everything came about.
He was driving home and just past the airport he became weak with intense chest pain and could not breathe and unable to lift his left arm. Classic symptoms of a heart attack. He pulled off the freeway and exited trying to make it to the nearest hospital but could not as the pain was so intense. He pulled into a gas station and called 911. The ambulance was there in less than five minutes, which could have saved his life. His heart rate was up over 170 and it was like he was going explode. They cut off his clothes and proceeded to take him to the nearest hospital. My husband cursed at them and told them not to take him to that other (name withheld)hospital and to take him to another hospital, which is where I work. They complied.
Evidenlty, he was in pretty bad shape when they brought him in. They thought he had had a pulmonary embolism or a heart attck. The signs were so classic and very bad. They tested him for everything and they treated him accordingly. They took such good care of him.
The outcome:
He did not have a heart attack or an embolism but a combination of high blood pressure and dehydration and lack of potassium and stress put his heart into an irregular heart rate. His heart is and will be just fine.
It was a pretty scary night and we are just very thankful that he is ok to stick around for a few more years to enjoy his family. Were taking life one day at a time.
I am very thankful that he is ok!
My husband left for work at 4 am to drive to Elko Nevada where there were problems with one of his commuter trains. The train was stuck out in the middle of nowhere and there were passengers on the train that needed immediate assistance. My husband, being the on call, drove from our home to somehwere in the desert by Elko Nevada. He tried to drive through the desert to get to the diabled train with not much luck. So, he walked in over 2 miles in and out and through the muddy terrain. It had been snowing that spring day and so the ground was thick with mud which made every step more difficult. He made it in to the disabled train and took care of the crew and the passengers. He then had to trek back out on foot another 2 miles until he reached his 4 wheel drive. After he got to his truck, he became stuck in that thick mud. He was trying to push his vehicle out and a farmer came by and pointed a shot gun at him and accused him of letting his animals out of the gate. After much explanation and discussion, the farmer finally relented and then offered to help him get his vehicle out of the mud. He then went on his way. Around eight PM that night he called me and notified me that he was on his way home and had just stopped somewhere near Wendover to get a bite to eat. I knew that he would arrive in about 2 hours. I have driven that road before and knew the distance well. Around 9:30 in the evening, the phone rang, I thought it was my husband calling to say he was almost home. I knew he had had a hard hard day and would be exhausted. But, it was not my husband, it was a paramedic. Oh the thoughts that ran through my mind in that split second before she told me what was going on. She identified herself and explained in a very calm voice that my husband had had a heart attack and had pulled off the road trying to make it into town. She told me where the ambulance was taking him and that they would be expecting me. Every thought ran through my mind at that exact moment in time. I thought about how I would have to call all of my boys and tell them about their dad. I just couldn't comprehend living without him. We had been married for over 32 years. What would my grandchildren do without their grandpa? I composed myself and called my youngest son who still lives with us and told him to come home now! I explained the situation to him and he was home in less than 5 minutes. I tried to stay calm as we drove from our home more than twenty minutes away to the hospital where he was taken. It seemed like forever, almost like we were in slow motion and everything was moving so much slower than normal. I did not run one light or stop sign and did not even break the speed limit which was driving my son crazy as he had asked me several times if he could drive. He's a speed demon!!! I declined as I had to be in control. We were almost to the hospital and a nurse called and said that my husband was taken to CT for scans and indicated that he would not be in the ER, so not to worry. We arrived five minutes later and he was back from CT. As we walked in to the ER, there were strips of EKG tabs all over the floor along with empty packages many items they had used on my husband. He had the heart monitors attached to his chest and the IV's in his arm and was bare chested, as they had cut his shirt off of him in the ambulance. He was laying in the bed with his feet hanging off the end covered in mud. He still had his boots on. My husband proceeded to explain what was going on with him and how everything came about.
He was driving home and just past the airport he became weak with intense chest pain and could not breathe and unable to lift his left arm. Classic symptoms of a heart attack. He pulled off the freeway and exited trying to make it to the nearest hospital but could not as the pain was so intense. He pulled into a gas station and called 911. The ambulance was there in less than five minutes, which could have saved his life. His heart rate was up over 170 and it was like he was going explode. They cut off his clothes and proceeded to take him to the nearest hospital. My husband cursed at them and told them not to take him to that other (name withheld)hospital and to take him to another hospital, which is where I work. They complied.
Evidenlty, he was in pretty bad shape when they brought him in. They thought he had had a pulmonary embolism or a heart attck. The signs were so classic and very bad. They tested him for everything and they treated him accordingly. They took such good care of him.
The outcome:
He did not have a heart attack or an embolism but a combination of high blood pressure and dehydration and lack of potassium and stress put his heart into an irregular heart rate. His heart is and will be just fine.
It was a pretty scary night and we are just very thankful that he is ok to stick around for a few more years to enjoy his family. Were taking life one day at a time.
I am very thankful that he is ok!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Cruising
If I could cruise every day, I would. I often tease my husband and tell him that I am saving up all the money in our 401K to pay for cruising when I retire in ten years. He's not on board with that plan yet, but I'm working on it.
I went with all of my grown children and grand children this winter to the Caribbean. It wasn't a long cruise but did we sure have a great time. The waters are so calming and beautiful. As you sail through the night just watching the water and feeling the summer breeze blow across your face. What a wonderful way to enjoy the family.
We made some really great memories that will last a lifetime. My oldest son recently told me that he was so glad that we taught him that the monetary things in life were not so important and that the most important things we can have are the memories we share with one another.
Boy was he right!
I'm planning the next cruise for Spring 2012. We have around 25 friends and family going. What a party this will be.
I went with all of my grown children and grand children this winter to the Caribbean. It wasn't a long cruise but did we sure have a great time. The waters are so calming and beautiful. As you sail through the night just watching the water and feeling the summer breeze blow across your face. What a wonderful way to enjoy the family.
We made some really great memories that will last a lifetime. My oldest son recently told me that he was so glad that we taught him that the monetary things in life were not so important and that the most important things we can have are the memories we share with one another.
Boy was he right!
I'm planning the next cruise for Spring 2012. We have around 25 friends and family going. What a party this will be.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Nieces and Nephews
I had an aunt that took great interest in me specifically. Each time I would visit her when traveling on summer breaks with my family, she would spend time just with me, getting to know me and my likes and dislikes. We built a pretty great relationship. She has since passed away, but I still remember her kindness and love everyday adn the impact she had on my life. She taught me that no matter what the age, everyone is important and should be noticed and acknowledged.
Since she made such an impact on me at such a young age, I decided to emulate her and carry on the example that she set for me.
Remember to take the time to share your life with your neices and nephews. Take interest in what is happening in their world. Give em a shout out or even a hug once in a while.
You never know how you might change their lives.
Since she made such an impact on me at such a young age, I decided to emulate her and carry on the example that she set for me.
Remember to take the time to share your life with your neices and nephews. Take interest in what is happening in their world. Give em a shout out or even a hug once in a while.
You never know how you might change their lives.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
The great flood
One Saturday afternoon I was in the kitchen on the telephone talking to a friend. This was the old fashion phone connected to the wall. Suddenly my 15 year old son ran in the house and started yelling mom mom mom come outside and see whats happening. I thought he was just trying to get my attention as kids often do when there parents are on the phone. I ignored him and he ran in again and yelled for me to come out and see what was going on. Again I ignored him until he grabbed my arm and said it was urgent. I ended my call and went calmly outside and looked in the driveway where my car was parked and the windows were rolled down as it was a very hot summer day.
Then I suddenly noticed that my 4 year old son was standing next to the passenger car window with a hose draped over it. The hose was facing inside the front seat of the car.........Oh Yeah....I hurried up and turned off the water and told my son he better get out of my sight or I will murder him. I was so mad, I knew if I started the anger, I would beat the living h___ out of him.
I went over to the car and opened the door, well you know...it was if Moses parted the red sea and it was all over. The water was just flowing from from the opening. Gallons of it! My other boys stood there in shock that I stayed so calm, I really wasn't that calm inside, but I knew if I let it out, I would explode.
It took weeks to get the car dry again. Every time I stepped on the peddles (gas or accelerator) a gush of water would come out.
Well, this really did happen, I mean, I did not explode with anger or beat my child or spank him or even yell at him severely. I just told him to get away from me or they would need to come and arrest me.
We can take control of our emotions during the worst situations, when we need it the most.
I knew from that day forward, I could withstand anything that came my way, good or bad! Well, so far it's played out. I have not committed any felonies yet and my children are all grown up and they are all doing fine. I do however, have a few grey hairs from each of them!
I guess it's all working out ok!!
Then I suddenly noticed that my 4 year old son was standing next to the passenger car window with a hose draped over it. The hose was facing inside the front seat of the car.........Oh Yeah....I hurried up and turned off the water and told my son he better get out of my sight or I will murder him. I was so mad, I knew if I started the anger, I would beat the living h___ out of him.
I went over to the car and opened the door, well you know...it was if Moses parted the red sea and it was all over. The water was just flowing from from the opening. Gallons of it! My other boys stood there in shock that I stayed so calm, I really wasn't that calm inside, but I knew if I let it out, I would explode.
It took weeks to get the car dry again. Every time I stepped on the peddles (gas or accelerator) a gush of water would come out.
Well, this really did happen, I mean, I did not explode with anger or beat my child or spank him or even yell at him severely. I just told him to get away from me or they would need to come and arrest me.
We can take control of our emotions during the worst situations, when we need it the most.
I knew from that day forward, I could withstand anything that came my way, good or bad! Well, so far it's played out. I have not committed any felonies yet and my children are all grown up and they are all doing fine. I do however, have a few grey hairs from each of them!
I guess it's all working out ok!!
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